felt better after a cold bath. reached home pretty early tday (:

i've read through all th tags, all th msgs, all th advises frm you guys.
& i've sorted it out already. th conclusion is: love is selfish
isnt it? you cant be possibly sharing th one you love with others, right?
i cant be blaming myslf any longer. i'll only feel bad, worst, & worser.
why not live my day happily? since life still has to go on ..

even lendl asked me to stay happy. fr th sake of you all, i will.
i some sort miss th happy jesselyn. but no worries, i'll find her back soon.
schl was okay fr me tday. finally tday, i felt way much better.
i've gave it a thorough thought ytd night.
went to bed at 10pm, started indulging myslf in deep thoughts.
cried so silently, yet so badly ):
but im glad, there's so many ppl out there fr me.

maybe i rly did let lendl dwn this time. but well, life has it's ups & downs isnt it?
it's nt as if i can control when to miss smone, when to forget smone.
i'll just have to follow my heart. & i am. i've finally made up my mind already.
for now, im just gna concentrate on my studies, with no disturbance.
no more love. in direct, no more boygirl r/s for nw.
streaming's just round th corner. it's time i should rly buck up.
once mre, im rly thnkful fr those ppl out there fr me :]

giving up on smone isnt easy. you could even take th whole of yr life to love smone.
but as what ah an said. if thrre's a will, there's a way.
im putting things bhind now, maybe you can say im avoiding them.
but at least i feel much bttr w/o those stuffs on my mind.
it's like, im finally spareeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed (:
but i knw, you can avoid nw, you cant avoid it yr whole life.
i'll only face them once im rdy, rdy to get hurt, rdy to be loved.

i only hope you guys support me with whtever decisions i make.
sorry, but thankyou (: